Archive for the ‘School Aged Children Would Enjoy This’ Category


So, you’re what.. 18 now? You got either an apartment or residence to stumble home to now, or someone has a couch you can crash on. Here are some tips to stay awesome and focused. College is about multitasking.. no?

Drinking is by far one of the most notable activities for frosh week, which is strange, cause… you’re 18. So, as an experienced drinker… (very experienced indeed).. here are some ways in which to drink your face off AND still make it to classes on time. (I wish I’d heard of this when I was in college you lucky bastards.)

I would strongly suggest eating beforehand, as this will increase your longevity, balance and decision making… at least for the first few hours.

Apparently white liquors and white wine don’t have as big a hangover as red wine and jager, (trust me on the jager part) and red wine is never a good idear, as it stains. If you’re a dancer, I really don’t suggest a glass of anything.. get a bottle of freakin’ Steamwhistle dammit and support your local brewery.. (assuming you’re in the GTA.)

Eating during the drinking ritual is a great idea, so I strongly advocate stealing somebody else’s food in order to keep your stomach full of stuff other than liquor and beer. I guess if you’re gonna drink mixed drinks, eat the limes and lemons…

Now, I picture you stumbling to your apartment, or relative domain. Make sure you’re not wearing heels, cause I’ll most likely make fun of you, and so will people like me. Drink a full, big ass glass of water when you get home, and put another one beside your bed… or next to you on the floor.  You’ll probably wake up within a few hours and drink it, and trust me, it helps.


Class the next day should be reletively easy, but you’ll be tired and you’ll probably want a coffee. I made it through my college years with a great breakfast consisting of coffee and original skittles. Apparently, this is not recomended by the Board of Health, and they say you should proabably eat some eggs or something with sustinance. Really though? What do they know?

Don’t forget to thank OSAP for the money they leant you to buy those drinks. Maybe send them a Christmas card, or even some cookies would be nice.

Hope that helps guys! If you have any questions, or you want me to take your test for you, let me know… I probably won’t though, for the record. Drinking makes me lazy.