Michael Jackson Had the Right Idea

Nature vs. Nurture, the never ending debate between genetic and environmental influences on humans mental growth, like Spiderman! Both have substantial impacts on one’s developmental progress, but I’d like to focus on the environmental aspects.

Poor tortured souls

Poor tortured souls

Peter Pan the Disney movie ruined my life. Legitimately, that cartoon screwed me mentally. My entire childhood and in my “tweens” (which is a stupid word) I was subject to Disney movies. Lots and lots of Disney movies. Having a brother 10 years younger than you will do that.

Peter Pan happen to be one of my favourites. I remember watching it and not thinking much of it until I saw a play where Peter was played by a woman, and I had an immediate connection with the story.

After that day, the movie was held in such a higher regard. It made me think  I COULD be Peter. (See how impressionable youth are?) I felt I had a chance to fly; I had a shot at being a leader of an army of underdogs, which sounds like a great theme, but it’s not.

Screw Peter Pan. Screw Disney for making that stupid story available to my ridiculously persuadable character.

I hope someone writes a version of Tink abandoning Peter, and then falling out of the sky and dying upon impact. That damn emerald clad lad fooled my young mind into thinking I never had to grow up; I never had to get a real job, or become responsible or achieve anything at all really! And you know why?!?!? Because when life gets rough, all I have to do is think a happy though and BAM! Never Never Land is some “pixie dust”  away.

Michael Jackson made it even worse! (Doesn’t he though?) When I found out about Never Never Ranch, and that he only invited boys there, I was PISSED. BEYOND PISSED. I wanna be a Lost Boy! Only.. a girl though, cause I’m not a chemist and can’t change my genetic makeup. BUT, I CAN tape my boobs down and wear loose fitted clothing. But no, I’m stuck being 26 years old  STILL under the impression that if I coast through life, I’ll end up on some tropical island with people exactly like me, conjuring up food with my mind and sleeping in trees.

If I ever meet Peter Pan, or someone that’s dressed like him, I swear, punting will ensue.

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