EAT THE FOOD!!!

I often am hungry as I rarely plan out my eating routine. What with work, the gime (gym for all you non Simpson’s watchers) music and drinking, I hardly have time to cook, bake or take out. HOWEVER.. when I am desperately hungry and my stomach can no longer take the empty feeling inside, I oblige with my favourite meal. Sandwiches.

When I was a kid, my mom had a record player. Yes. I’m THAT old.. Now, I remember distinctly one song in particular on my very favourite vinyl. It was “Sandwiches” by Fred Penner. You all remember him eh? Judging by your confused face about the term “eh” you are not Canadian, which you kinda need to be in order to know who Mr. Penner is.

LEGENDARY!

But that’s not the point. The real point is that I was discussing a drunken meal I made on my return home from Hess Village last weekend with my friend. I recently hopped back on the wagon of party-ville, and am doing well considering.  While at the bar, I think I drank my body weight in rye. And not of the bread variety, but we’ll get to that in a minute. I was totally that girl; stumbling home, drunk texting … someone … (probably more than one) and hobbled back to my apartment just in time to feel the pang of a guilty pleasure arise. Looking in my fridge, several things happened. One, I must get more fruit, and two, it seems that it was sandwich time. Now, eating before bed is not a normal tradition for me, however, this time, I made an exception as the bread and toppings seemed to be crying at me for love. I obligued.

Now, I’m not sure what it is about eating hammered, or eating other people’s food, but it always seems to taste better; and let me tell you: this sandwich was Ah-maze-ing. I can’t even described the dance my tastebuds made whilst the preperations occured. Maybe it was the jager… maybe it was the tangy zip of Miracle Whip, but let me tell you, the addition of cucumbers lightly seasoned with salt and pepper was the shize.

(Oh god, I’m salavating)

Here is my recipe for helping a hangover cease to be a hangover.

1. Use fresh, whole wheat bread, preferably of the organic variety. (Shmamberley does not soley support the brand “Arnolds” bread, although I’m sure he’s a very nice guy)

2. Spread a generous layer of Miracle Whip on both slices of said bread, toasted if desired, although this takes a lot more time and seems like EONS in a drunken stuper.

3. Add shaved turkey to the mix… I don’t eat much cow or pig these days, but if I trusted myself to cook some bacon, this would be a very different flava. (You heard me)

4. Slice tomatos and cucumbers with a dull knife and place over turkey. Add salt and pepper to taste.

5. Grab a stick of cheese.. and not that processed crap. Get like, some amazing old chedda from the Farmers Market, but my top fav would be brie. Grate that bitch and let it make the mountain-sandwich rise.

6. Lettuce would be good, but I didn’t have any.

And there you have it! I highly suggest slicing it in half and just because you’re THAT special, why not skip the crust and go right to the good stuff? The middle.

Upon waking, I had no recolection of said sandwich. Not even a bit. I was tipped off by the mass amounts of crumbs on my bedspread and upon furthur investigation, my kitchen was a frackin’ mess. Turns out, I rather enjoyed that sandwich whilst watching the end of Aladdin on VHS.

I hope you like my recipe. Next one will be for disaster, as I’m rather partial to those and it makes for a much better journal entry. I shall leave you with the song that prompted my love for this meal. Thank you and enjoy.